tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8383701632927065467.post2356961614446349543..comments2023-08-21T03:51:17.425-06:00Comments on Enlightened Catholicism: Becoming Like Little Children Part IIIcolkochhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03432916690101599393noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8383701632927065467.post-49613207770808815512008-10-23T14:32:00.000-06:002008-10-23T14:32:00.000-06:00The synchronicity of todays post is amazing.On Mon...The synchronicity of todays post is amazing.<BR/><BR/>On Monday after work, I was biking in the outback and stopped to take a picture of a lake. After I set up the camera I looked down and there was a ring-neck snake about the same size as the one in the picture. I has almost stepped on it when I dismounted. I was surprised that it was just coiled there, not trying to get away. I don’t know why I looked down at that moment. Another instant and I would have been walking to the place where I was going to take the picture and missed it completely. <BR/><BR/>It was interesting that it didn’t move until I picked it up. At that point, it did all the squirmy snake things to get away, but after a couple of minutes, it must have figured out I wasn’t interested in eating it, it settled down, and coiled around my finger. It stayed there the entire time I was taking pictures.<BR/><BR/>When I was done, I had trouble getting it to let go. Every time I would try to uncoiled it, it was slither back and recoil itself around my finger. It was the same finger too … the ring finger on my left hand. A ring neck snake coiled around the ring finger of my left hand and not wanting to let go. There has to be a message in there somewhere.<BR/><BR/>I had forgotten about it until I saw the picture and read the post. The parallels between the picture and what was written in the post, and the experience of that moment are amazing.COL55https://www.blogger.com/profile/07057765287988790129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8383701632927065467.post-78607350903089980662008-10-23T14:30:00.000-06:002008-10-23T14:30:00.000-06:00I am so familiar with what you have brought up her...I am so familiar with what you have brought up here Colleen. I've been stunned and frozen more times than I'd care to remember and with tears rolling down my cheeks over the years in countless situations. For some odd reason though, I could not get angry. It was cause for many years of self-doubt and a feeling of worthlessness that brought on later in life periods of depression. Rather than look at what my reaction was I was obsessed with figuring out what was wrong with me and vindicating the attacks on me personally. I put everyone else above me in a way and this just brought on undeserved guilt.<BR/><BR/>I had a similar situation in an eighth grade class and I said something that the nun took totally the wrong way and I was so embarrassed in front of the whole class and just froze. What's really interesting is that it was rare for me to raise my hand and say anything the entire time in school. The one time I did I got chewed out for it. I was lucky in that my best friend at the time who sat behind me in class said she knew what I meant and that the nun was wrong. She's the same nun that just came from South America and had a low opinion of us "wealthy" North American kids and strapped two brothers in front of the entire class of over 80 students. <BR/><BR/>What I've learned, thank God, is to discern where people are coming from in personal attacks. They seem to be coming from the standpoint of attacking for the sake of attacking, and because they are in a position of authority. Being God centered now, He is always the real authority.<BR/><BR/>I've left many jobs due to the freeze and flight response and most of the time I looked like a spineless jellyfish unable to defend myself to those who seemed to love to attack me. This was in the corporate environment of brown-nosers who loved to make themselves look good, and I would often come out on the short end of things. Some jobs I should have left sooner rather than later. The cost has been very high to me and it took me so long to work this through. In interviews sometimes I still freeze up, but I have found if I freeze up there is a good reason to not want to work there. It seems a signpost of danger - do not go there for it will only bring you trouble or despair.<BR/><BR/>Sometimes I think it is best to flee, like Jesus did so many times especially since he knew those in authority positions were going to do him physical harm for healing on the Sabbath. He also knew when it was time to face them because he could no longer flee and his work was done. <BR/><BR/>I had a job last year and I knew they wanted to find a way for me to either be fired or to make it unbearable enough for me to quit. I stuck it out and made sure I did nothing for them to fire me on any righteous terms. But they fired me anyway, devising a lie. Even unemployment understood they had no real reason to let me go. A job after that was rather interesting in that she for some reason didn't like me so she refused to make me part of the team working with her. She started giving me menial tasks and started outsourcing some of the work at undoubtedly a much higher rate than she was paying me. Then one day I heard her mumble something negative about me and I took a deep breath and got up out of my desk and told her off and slammed the door behind me. I finally stood up for myself. <BR/><BR/>I don't recommend that in every situation one should tell their boss off and leave. In my situation though, it was the answer and I was paid too low for it to make a real difference and it was part time work.butterflyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09684946870144030594noreply@blogger.com