Friday, February 18, 2011

St Raphael And Soul Mates

I actually wrote this one for Vatentine's day two years ago.  I know it's a couple days late for this year, but I really seem to be losing track of  time working night shift.  I was checking some blog stats and noticed this particular post had a lot of hits and so checked it out.  It dawned on me that it had all the hits because of Valentine's day.  So here it is again.  One update, the friendship I describe in this piece is still just as crazy.  I now work for the same company she does and technically she would be my mega boss--in theory.  In reality it's a whole different story.

Britain's Roman Catholic Church is advising lovelorn singles to direct their February 14 requests for love to St Raphael, rather than St Valentine.

Over the years St Valentine has come incorrectly to be associated with finding love, the Church says.

He is the patron saint for those who have already found their soulmate.

St Raphael is the patron saint for happy encounters and it is to him those fearing the Valentine's post should properly direct their prayers.

Clare Ward, spokeswoman for the Catholic Enquiry Office, the official body providing information on Catholic life, said that while the distinction between the saints has always been clear within the Church it has, over the years, been blurred outside.

"Saint Valentine passed a note to his jailer's daughter, whose sight he is thought to have cured," she said.

"The note had no romantic content, but it's from this story that the tradition of sending notes of appreciation has come from.

"If tomorrow you are still looking for your soul mate, the actual patron saint is St Raphael.
"He's the person you should dedicate your day or pray to if you are looking for Mr or Mrs right."

St Raphael, according to legend, helped Tobias enter into marriage with Sarah, who had seen seven previous bridegrooms perish on the eve of their weddings. (I can see where some angelic intervention might have been needed for Sarah. Her track record would have given any self respecting man serious doubts.)

It is he within the canon of Catholic saints who is properly associated with helping to forge partnerships.
St Valentine is said to have been martyred in Rome in 269.
While his exact history is unclear, Valentine is thought to have existed as archaeologists have unearthed an early church dedicated to someone of that name.

One theory is that he was a priest in Rome who continued to marry Christian couples in defiance of the law of the day.

On the eve of his execution, he is said to have signed a note to his jailer's daughter: "From your Valentine."

Those hoping for divine intervention to help their love lives may well appreciate the correction in target for their prayers, but Miss Ward also had some more advice.

"There is a lot of evidence to suggest that young people who have tapped into prayer groups have found partners," she said.
"Those who have exhausted traditional routes like online dating should try spiritual networks. (Since when did online dating graduate to tradition?)
"Why not come along to a prayer group - it could be your lucky night."


I found this article kind of interesting because I had no idea the Archangel Raphael was the patron saint of soul mates or of happy encounters, and that Valentine was the patron saint of formed partnerships.

For me Raphael has always been the angel of coyote lessons. The one angel guaranteed to use humorous situations to make a fool of my ego. Although now that I think about it, most of those lessons always involved people who became incredibly close to me and vice versa. People who really did turn out to be soulmates, even if at times we soulmates were at each other's throats.

That's the thing about real soulmates, it's not about sick syrupy love, it's about relationships which expose you to your own truth. These are relationships which take you beyond yourself and your comfort zones and very often become incredibly threatening in their intensity. That's the whole idea really, to take away your sense of control.

I have one really close friendship with another psychic whose energy is so like mine that people constantly confuse us. This in spite of the fact we look nothing alike and come from totally different backgrounds. This tendency to see us both as one unit has been validated over and over again by Native healers and spiritual practitioners. It's gotten to the point that we don't even bother to correct people anymore. It doesn't do any good. It also doesn't do us any good to fight against it. The energy of this relationship seems to transcend it's individual components, the 'we' being far greater than the individual "I".

There have been times both of us have wished the other one would some how drop off the face of the planet. We really are not that much alike and do get on each other's nerves. It doesn't do us any good. The meddlesome angels that work with us seem to feel we need this relationship--or they need it--so whenever there's been a major falling out, it's always been shortly followed by a situation in which we're forced back into relying on each other. It's interesting how that situation usually involves one or the other of our children. Our children love us both equally, and truth be told we love each other's children as much as our own, and yet we're not partners in any usual sense of that word. It's all very mystifying.

People ask me all the time about this notion of soulmate. I always tell them to be careful what they ask for because they may not have a real clue about what they are getting themselves in for. Anything that involves Raphael is going to be joyful but it's also going to push every button you have and stretch everything you thought you knew about relationships.

The story of Tobiah and Sarah illustrates this point quite well. If you haven't ever read the book of Tobit it's a great Jewish story. In it Raphael is his typical self. Encouraging a terrified Tobiah to marry Sarah in spite of the small problem of the seven previous dead husbands. Raphael tells Tobiah his and Sarah's relationship was made before their births, and so Tobiah needs to suck it up and do a little demon cleansing and then everything will be righteous and joyful.

In the meanwhile Sarah is sure she and her jealous demon hanger-on will be the cause of yet another death and awaits her husband with resigned trepidation. Her father is so sure of the outcome he has his servants secretly dig a grave---to avoid more family embarrassment. Morning comes and the maid is sent upstairs to check on the inevitable dead husband only to find him still living. Shock. Sarah's father then has his servants secretly fill in the grave---to avoid more family embarrassment. Nothing like a pair of soulmates to turn everyones life upside down.

All parties live to a ripe and full old age and Raphael eventually tells Tobit and Tobiah the truth about himself, and then ascends into heaven. The book of Tobit is sort of an angelic soap opera, but it's also a treatise on the importance of self giving in the scheme of things.

In the final chapter Raphael gives his own version of the Sermon On The Mount, stressing compassionate connection with the less fortunate as the cure for evil. Tobiah and Sarah take this to heart and always have the abundance they need from which to give to others. That's the whole point about soulmate relationships. They aren't about a 'you and me' they are about a 'we' which serves the needs of others.

So on this Valentine's day I suggest reading the book of Tobit. It's not really about romantic love, it's about soulmates and angels and the high highs and the low lows such things seem to produce. In the end it's as much a human story as it is an angelic story and it's most surely a love story.


  1. Kudos to British Catholics for this charming and touching intervention.

  2. "The meddlesome angels that work with us "

    Are you trying to say that you work with demons?

    If so, that would explain the dark energy between you two soul mates and the destructive nature of your relationship with her. It doesn't sound very healthy at all and probably does not have anything to do with Raphael, except in your imagination and psyche.

  3. Angels, as they are generally portrayed in the Bible, are quite meddlesome and turn people's lives upside down.

    Lucifer is called the Father of Lies and falling for his definition of truth can be incredibly destructive. One could easily see Michael and his fellow angels as the "Agents of Truth". Truth can be just as upsetting to one's comfort zone since many of us are quite comfortable with either our delusions about how life works, or our place in it.

    Gabrielle did not come with news that initially made Mary's life a bed of roses. It upset everything about her life and quite frankly threatened that very life under Jewish law.

    One could say it was a destructive relationship, especially if one thinks of angels or their truth as non threatening and warm and fuzzy. Neither they nor their truth are always warm and fuzzy and most certainly that truth can contain threatening aspects if one's ego is all neatly wrapped up in one's ego.

  4. Thank you for clarifying what you meant by "meddlesome angels."

  5. Meddlesome means "given to meddling." (Not an angelic quality, but it is a human quality)

    Meddle means "to concern or busy oneself with or in something without warrant or necessity; interfere."

  6. But again, meddling depends on one's point of view. To the person experiencing the situation it can indeed feel like 'meddling'.

  7. Oh, I see what you mean now. It would depend on one's perspective.

    Delusions about how life works is an interesting subject. That also depends on one's perspective.

    I've never thought of angels being meddlesome. Maybe I'm too trusting, like Mary, because I look at it from her perspective by trying to understand what she went through. But I do know that people are very meddlesome in a counter-productive way and they are adding their own fears to their perspective and that's not helpful.

  8. i thank you for this post. my life has definitely been turned upside down and I know it is for a reason, its just so very hard to try and not figure it out, but i guess i need to have faith. maybe that is what this is all teaching me. the love of my life has taken a job in another country and chose not to continue our relationship over seas. my heart is broken but i believe we will be together again. if not, i know God has something else in store, and its not up to me to question it and that is what im having the hardest time with.

  9. Hey I really appreciate this post. In late 2011, I reached out with my spirit to something that had all the features of a demonic-order phenomenon (but I was acting rather foolishly assuming I would be protected anyway or that somehow the act would be turned to good). I requested assistance from this phenomenon in finding my soulmate.

    I did, or so it seemed. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, that had been whole in my life, but which I had UNDER APPRECIATED, began being destroyed right before my eyes because of the relationship into which I had entered with this other person. After a few months of that, I suddenly realized that I had better do something.

    As soon, however, as I took concrete actions to begin rebuilding what was being destroyed, the relationship (of course) became impossible to continue. I do feel as though I was one the road (eventually) to atheism or some kind of gnostic, secret initiation, mystery spirituality of my own (and her own) devising.

    It was all very strange and highly disconcerting, especially because I thought that there was incredible power in the act of completely baring my heart to someone (anyone I suppose). This has left me feeling afraid of ever doing this again... for it just resulted in horrifying pain for everyone (ourselves and both families)...

    But I was completely unaware of the horrible and BASIC power that SPIRIT exerts in the phenomenal world. I have no idea what kind of spirits were behind her, but very often I experienced sheer terror in being with her, as though there was some void behind her physical manifestation that was unfathomable into which I could be lost forever.

    I can't explain it yet. Any of it. All I know is that it is truly perilous to ask assistance of NAMES of PERSONS and even NAMES of THINGS (for the Eastern tradition venerates even the Chains of St. Peter) that one CANNOT FIND in the Communion of Saints.

    1. I'm not sure I quite understand what you are saying in your comment. I do know this, the Communion of Saints and Angels is very real, but not in some childhood catechism class kind of way. They wield influence in this reality and it is very real, and they do work towards an agenda, and that agenda is to bring the Kingdom to Earth.