Sunday, April 28, 2013

Synchronicity Gives Me A Perfect Example

No dinner for this child at Cardinal Dolan's table.

In my previous post I made the point that a celibate male priesthood has only the experience of being the child in the parent/child relationship and that leads to directly to a authoritarian paternal paradigm.  There is never the kind of dialogue that carries on between parents and adult children.  The following is from Cardinal Dolan's personal blog.  It illustrates this issue in spades.

All Are Welcome!

April 25th, 2013
It was a lesson I began to learn when I was seven or eight . . .
My buddy Freddie from across the street and I were playing outside.  Mom called me for supper.
“Can Freddie stay and eat supper with us?”  I asked.
“He’d sure be welcome, if it’s okay with his mom and dad,” she replied.
“Thanks, Mrs. Dolan,” Freddie replied.  “I’m sure it’s okay, because mom and dad are out, and the babysitter was just going to make me a sandwich whenever I came in.”
I was so proud and happy.  Freddie was welcome in our house, at our table.  We both rushed in and sat down.
“Freddie, glad you’re here,” dad remarked, “but . . . looks like you and Tim better go wash your hands before you eat.”
Simple enough . . . common sense . . . you are a most welcome and respected member now of our table, our household, dad was saying, but, there are a few very natural expectations this family has.  Like, wash your hands!…
So it is with the supernatural family we call the Church:  all are welcome!
But, welcome to what?  To a community that will love and respect you, but which has rather clear expectations defining it, revealed by God in the Bible, through His Son, Jesus, instilled in the human heart, and taught by His Church.
The Church is Catholic . . . that means all are welcome;
The Church is one . . . that means we have a Person — Jesus — and His moral teaching that unite us;
The Church is apostolic . . . that means that His teaching was entrusted to His apostles, and carefully handed-on by His Church.  The sacred duty of the Church is to invite people, challenge people, to live the message and teachings of Jesus.
This balance can cause some tensions.  Freddie and I were loved and welcomed at our family table, but the clear expectation was, no dirty hands!
Blessed John Paul II used to say that the best way to love someone was to tell them the truth:  To teach the truth with love.  Jesus did that — He was love and truth in His very person — and so does His Church.
We love and respect everyone . . . but that doesn’t necessarily mean we love and respect their actions.
Who  a person is?  We love and respect him or her . . .
What a person does?  Truth may require that we tell the person we love that such actions are not consonant with what God has revealed.
We can never judge a person . . . but, we can judge a person’s actions.
Jesus did it best.  Remember the woman caught in adultery?  The elders were going to stone her.  At the words of Jesus, they walked away.
“Is there no one left to condemn you?”  the Lord tenderly asked the accused woman.
“No one, Sir,” she whispered.
“Neither do I condemn you,” Jesus concluded.  “Now go, but sin no more.”
Hate the sin; love the sinner . . .(Uhmm Tim, Jesus welcomed and forgave her BEFORE the 'sin no more' statement and his forgiveness was not contingent on her 'sinning no more.")


This is Cardinal Dolan's take on why the Church loves gays but kicks them from the table.  Gays have dirty hands like little Freddy.  We are not to take the message that gays are dirty hands, but just that good daddies make sure there are no children with dirty hands at the dinner table.

Someone needs to sit down with Cardinal Dolan and spend some time explaining to him that Jesus did not have a contingent form of love.  Jesus did not relate to people as if they were seven or eight year old children and he was some uber parent.  Jesus referred to his followers as his brothers and sisters not as his children and there is nothing in the Gospels where Jesus refused to feed people if their hands were dirty.  

And I don't know about Cardinal Dolan's family, but it was my mother who decided who was or was not welcome at the table in our house, and I don't remember her kicking too many people from the table for dirty hands, sexual orientation, or an alcohol problem.  If she had the family ranch would have had too few to labor in it. 


  1. Frankly, I can do without his "love". He is operating as an immature child and I believe can be a dangerous bully when he chooses to be. Unfortunately, he is still listening to his Mommy. ("Mother", the Church. Not, "People of God" Church.)

    He is not alone among the Catholic clergy. When I was still attending the Cathedral, where a now infamous Bishop still reigns , the few homilies that I heard him give were so childish that I thought that I was back in second grade. I was embarassed for him. I knew that this was someone that having a adult conversation with would be next to impossible. ( It turned out that I was right.) He simply wasn't comfortable relating with adults on an adult level. He didn't open his mouth, that meaningless platitudes didn't flow out. His worship of his Mother seeped through in his homilies, to the point that it was creepy.

    And, by the way, where in the scripture did Jesus say, "hate the sin, love the sinner." ?

    We haven't even BEGUN to see the strange foibles of the clergy that have been ordained in the last 20 years. Talk about "reap the whirlwind".

  2. I don't think Dolan extends love. He extends approval, parental approval at that. It is not a good idea to confuse approval with love. It says way too much about the person doing all the approving.

  3. Just like Jesus said to the "good" thief on the next cross. You are welcome in Timothy Dolan's heaven but with one very exact exception - No Dirty Hands!
    Jesus could be such a joker at times. lol

  4. Great comment Mark. It's like these men do not get what Jesus did in talking to the Samaritan woman. Samaritans were the Temple Jews own concept of 'dirty hands' and Jesus was making a huge point by even talking with her. Jesus had a reason for juxtaposing the 'Good Samaritan' against the Samaritan's more 'ritually pure' Jewish believers. It's a sad statement that 2000 years later men like Dolan still don't get the point of these stories.

    By the way, you have very good reasons for being stunned with the response of this priest. Blatant self serving idiocy frequently leaves one stunned and speechless.

  5. Cardinal Dolan mentions a lot of people he considers to have dirty hands. He is very selective about who he thinks is dirty or not.

    1. The adulteress. Never mind about the entire meaning of which he refers which was to trick Jesus. Jesus said without having to say it that all their hands were dirty.

    2. The alcoholic. Lord, have mercy on the alcoholics as far as Dolan is concerned. For that matter, if he does not yet know that alcoholism is a disease and is treatable and that shaming them does more harm than good, then Dolan's hands are dirty dealing and not Good Shepherding at all.

    3. Business leaders. Didn't Dolan support the tea party republican agenda? Who is this guy kidding? Talk about dirty hands into money supporting economic policies that support the wealthy and make the rest of us poor ad slaves to the wealthy.

    4. Couples who live together before marriage. Love can happen and it should regardless what Dolan thinks, which doesn't seem to have much depth or maturity. Sex is dirty to Dolan.

    5. Abortion. Most of us are not for abortion, however, there are exceptions to the rule for those who have understanding and wisdom and no one should dictate, especially if the mother's life is in danger, or in the case of underage children who cannot carry a child and other such dire situations. However, Dolan and his ilk are fundamentalisist tyrants about the entire issue. They've put zygotes before women and women think that's pretty dirty of him to do so. The issue is used more to control women than it is to foster anything positive. There are far more women who have children or who want children than there are in those seeking to have an abortion. I guess Dolan thinks that if a woman gets pregnant and a medical malfunction occurs and carrying the baby might kill her, well that's too damn dirty bad for the mother. She has to die. Dolan's idea is to scold and shame and wash his dirty hands of women's issues of which he has no compassion at all and sides with those who are against Planned Parenthood. He's a fundamentalist nightmare.

    6. Same sex attraction. Ignorance is what is dirty. And what dirty deeds the Bishops have done to hide their dirty deeds against defenseless children and still attack gays for being gay. So much for being pro-life and with clean hands. We see where the dirt really is.

    7. The "uncomfortable virtue of justice and charity towards the poor." I'll bet it is uncomfortable for Dolan. How is it justice and charity to see over 2 million Americans locked up in jails and knowing that they are the poor in there who didn't have enough money to get a good lawyer like the rich folks can? What are you doing about it Dolan? This while the thieves running the banks and our economy into the dirty toilet of greedy hands are living high and mighty and industries in oil, gas and coal are making us all sick and the weather extreme and brutal, while the poor get poorer and the rich get richer making the weapons for war. What are you doing about the dirty wars against the poor, Dolan? What are you doing about the dirty wars in the Church that pit priest against the laity, men against women and men and women against gays?

  6. I was watching the movie The Perfect Family tonight. It occurred to me that if we are blessed and privileged enough, given the awesome responsibility of loving someone, I think our meaning in life becomes to love that person as well as we can. As much as we can. As fully as we can. To love that person as fully as we are loved by Christ. Cardinal Dolan has never been given or accepted that responsibility. When the rubber hits the road I really believe it is by how well we have loved that we will be judged not how closely we followed rules.

  7. Why is it again that Cardinal Dolan is such a super star in the U.S. Catholic Church? These are some of the poorest analogies I have ever read. Oh well, I guess Europe gets the thinkers, we, like our media, must value bravado and flash as qualities to aspire to. #NoHeavyThinking

  8. Colleen, sometimes you have a one tracked mind and only for gays. There are many people that are denied communion from the table for years and years and years. Divorced and remarried couples. This is something that needs to be addressed. If the Church can't do that, there is little hope for accepting gays at the table.