Please, Stop It With The Blame The Victim Defense

Some people are getting this message, but others seem incapable of giving up this pathetic strategy.

This article in America magazine is well worth reading because it includes a video of Fort Worth, Texas city councilman Joe Burns and his heart felt plea for gay teens to avoid the temptation of seeing suicide as a solution to the bullying they may experience in school.  Joe Burns is really painful to watch as he describes his own experience growing up gay in a Texas high school, knowing his parents, especially his dad, were not going to deal well with his truth.  He tells his audience that it got better and his dad came to understand loving his son was more important to him than whether or not his son was gay.  I have to admit I got a little choked up watching this very moving testimony, and then I made the mistake of reading the comments.  The following comment sent me through the roof. 

"Isn't there a lot of confusion surrounding this whole issue? The idea of drawing a straight line from, "religious intolerance" to blame religion for a tragic situation could just as well be turned around to show where the plea by an openly "gay" mayor to "gay" youths is exactly what continues to confuse and drive to despair the youth as they develop their bodies, minds, spirits and selves in the context of much sexual impacting upon these same youths. Look at some of the tv shows aimed at the youth and you will see blatant grooming and recruiting towards a homosexual life style; done, of course, in the guise of, "teaching" tolerance towards others. Not that tolerance of others isn't needed, but it is obvious that society and the, "gay party", if you will, has reached way beyond demanding tolerance. (No, what I see is tons and tons of blatant grooming of girls to accept the male heterosexual lifestyle with it's demand that a real girl succumbs to the 'charms' of male attention and does everything in her power to be a magnet for that male attention.)

My understanding is that sexuality develops slowly and in many persons fluctuating thoughts and feelings and desires and experimental actions lead to a natural sort of confusion. Isn't it also true that most young people learn about sexual matters and experience sexual things with the same sex. Young boys with young boys. Young girls with young girls. Cub Scouts with Cub Scouts, Girl Scouts with Girl Scouts. Think about this in regards to your own youth; what you saw, were told, experienced - where and when. (That is true and that is the real problem with chastity only education.  Getting your sexual knowledge from peers who know nothing valid about the consequences of sexual activity is insane.  It's the insane product of the insanity of having a sexual moral theology determined solely by men whose experience is 'officially' non existent.) 

The problem is, to then promote the idea that to have done/seen/felt/heard so makes one a, "gay", or a, "gay" youth, promotes this same confusion in the youth; for a mayor to address, "gay" youth, perpetuates this confusion that exactly does lead to despair. The fact that maybe not, "gayness", but confused/developing/immature sexual identity led to a tragic situation was pointed out earlier in this blog chain in a particular case where a youth had access to pornography which promoted a homosexual style and which in itself led to the tragic effect.  (This is just bizarre thinking. Is this kind of like all a lesbian needs to erase her sexual confusion is a good case of rape?) 

And, so regarding concern for youth, most of whom have not established their sexual identities but are under pressure to do so, there is a sort of bullying by those who pick up the phrase, "gay bullying" and try to cast blame upon others for what they themselves have perpetrated! Perhaps they truly have concern and compassion for youth, but their actions and words can lead to the effects they deplore. (Classic and unapologetic case of blame the victim.)

********************************************

I am at a loss for words with the last paragraph other than to say it is truly Palinesque.  I wish there was some way I could get this man to understand what he deplores in so called 'gay lifestyle' is exactly what the 'heterosexual lifestyle' does with girls in the years in which they are 'establing their sexual identity'.  I suspect this particular man would have very little problem with the fact too many girls are literally bullied into their first sexual encounters.  There is very little in the 'heterosexual lifestyle' that bolsters female self esteem enough to assert her right to say 'no'. 

The 'heterosexual lifestyle' is designed to reward male self esteem which is why the stats show that those teen age boys with the highest self esteem have the most sexual encounters, and it's exactly the opposite with girls.  These statistics describe a situation ripe with opportunities for abuse and exploitation and there is plenty of it in our high schools and colleges.

If the 'heterosexual lifestyle' is designed to generate and reward male self esteem, it stands to reason that the 'homosexual lifestyle' will be seen as it's direct opposite.  Which it most certainly is and so we have NARTH listing sexually transmitted diseases as a fruit of this disordered lifestyle while completely leaving out that same and far more devastating aspect of the 'heterosexual lifestyle'.  NARTH will list suicide as a consequence of the 'homosexual lifestyle' while completely ignoring some similar effects of the 'heterosexual lifestyle' on girls, including the forced abortion of unwanted pregnancies.

I guess I shouldn't be totally surprised that a male true believer would write that kind of comment about the gay agenda being responsible for gay bullying.  Powerful men have historically blamed their victims for bringing on their own victimization.  It began way back when male leadership convinced women they were to blame for their status as property because of Eve's disobedience.  It was as if Adam had done nothing wrong and was there for still entitled to be considered the pinnacle of God's worldly creation. 

The same tripe is now being presented by right wing Catholics all over the blogosphere.  The "perfect society' of the Catholic Church is not responsible in any way shape or form for the fact these disordered inclined to evil youth opt to kill themselves rather than turn to the tender mercies of the love the sinner hate the sin Christian loving church folks.  This is kind of like expecting the French Roma to turn to President Sarkozy for help, or illegal immigrants to turn to Phoenix's Sherrif Arpaio. It's asking people to be pathological in their victimhood, or to come down with a serious case of Stockholm syndrome.  Hmmmm, maybe that explains the seminary system.